It starts with childbirth…I was born in a little town in East Texas USA. Siblings, yes, there were three. Mom and Dad later divorced, but I am not sure why they went their separate ways. Maybe they married too young, had too many kids in a short amount of time…for whatever reasons they drifted apart I will never know.
In my book of memories, however, I know that I can honestly look back and remember the good in my father, which appropriately occurred in my younger years.
As the years passed, I grew up and life happened, much without the presence of my dad because we had relationship issues due to his alcoholic rages. It is unfortunate that dad met an untimely death, all the while I was struggling with trying to forgive him.
Hopes of peace with my father that constantly wrangled around in my head became impossible when I learned of his passing. Leaving things unsettled was a mental struggle for many years. The guilt I felt was wrongly placed..after all, I was the child and reasons for the broken relationship were none of my doings, but all stemming from a selfish, angry, bitter, abusive man who happened to be my dad.
I really think my dad had hit an all time low in his life, and really wanted to be loved by his children. I think he did not understand why I was the only one who seemed unreachable, and he wanted to reach out to me and ask for forgiveness and love he so badly needed from me.
The saddest thing is that I planned my visit to see him while he was in a coma, but iced weather kept me away. Once the weather cleared I had my travel plans in place and exactly one week to the day I was going to see him – he passed away.
So, for my dad, may he Rest In Peace, I have listed some wonderful memories I hold near and dear to my heart forever. Daddy, in heaven, when we meet again, I have a long awaited hug for you. Until then, thanks for these memories:
Thanks for the roof over my head, a warm comfy bed
Thanks for food to eat and baby dolls, Barbie dolls, and my bike
Thanks for teaching me how to ride my first red bike, training wheels and all, and for my second bike with a cool basket to carry my baby doll around with me
Thanks for coming to my new school in 2nd grade, my first day (new home, new town), when I was crying because I wanted my daddy. You came and sat beside me in my new class and comforted me until I was all better
Thanks for being at each school play taking pictures and also at end of year ceremonies
Thanks for all the giant refrigerator boxes you got for me to make a playhouse. I will always remember going to the dock at the Sears warehouse and picking out a few boxes to make playhouses, and then going back home with them. Thanks for cutting out the windows and doors for me since I was too little to do that myself
Thanks for two very special treasures you brought back from Vietnam. I still have them today. A third treasure, priceless, the one letter you sent to me while in Vietnam…the blue stationary was my favorite because I never expected my daddy to use stationary or even have on hand.
Thanks for taking me to the dentist all of the time. Sorry I had so many cavities.
Thanks for fixing me a 7-up when I was little and had a tummy ache. I remember it got better.
Thanks for all the camping trips over the years. I have wonderful summer memories of our family at the lake.
Thank you for paying for my wedding dress. It was a mere $200 and I’d say worth it since I have enjoyed marriage for 40 years.
In closing, thank you for being my dad. I will always remember your smiles and the good times we shared.
Your daughter ,